Pearl Road in gem county in the gem state

Yes, there is a place called Bogus.

Photos by Ted Hero

Reuben the Rooster is nearing the end of his reign. Life on the farm is like a Shakespearean tragedy. An old king is not allowed to grow old and live out his dotage in peace. Rueben’s son, Jr, has detected – with his super chicken senses – that Reuben is weaker. Instead of taking care of his old dad he has decided to take care of his old dad. He beat him up. And despite Reuben’s superior size, intelligence, looks, and his larger spurs, Jr beat him pretty badly. But Reuben looked ok. The next morning, however, Rueben was found standing like a bloody statue of a defeated soldier. A statue erected to commemorate a massacre. We thought he had died standing like a true Hero. But when attempts were made to administer first aid, Reuben perked up and kept his distance. Up until this tragedy, Reuben had always been the tame one. He would eat out of your had (if you have a hand. Apologies to amputees). Efforts were redirect toward capturing the perpetrator, from her on referred to as the perp. A posse was formed. A one man posse. The leader of said posse located the perp, with bloody spurs, in, of all places, a chicken coop. Cornered! Doors were closed, a struggle ensued, feathers flew (as is their wont) but Junior crashed through the door – minus a few tail feathers – and fled the scene.

Meanwhile the posses temporarily disbanded to continue ordinary farmyard chores. Then dogs started barking, horsed whinnied. A wise farmer listens to his animals. Their was a stray horse walking down the road (chestnut colored). And there was another (gray) on the opposite side of the fence. They were both heading in the direction of the highway. Posse reformed. This time to heroically save horses.

The chestnut horse was approached and petted. Then, out of nowhere came a thought: How does one convince two horses to come home? And don’t say whisper. Ok, say whisper. Unlike a stray dog who will occasionally jump through the open door of a car, a horse will only fit in the largest of cars. A woman near the farm has two quarter horses (which inexplicably does not add up to one half horse). A plan was hatched to get her to ride one of her horses so the strays would hopefully follow. But the neighbor was not home. On the short drive back to the farm, the chestnut was encouraged by the approaching TSH mobile to lead the way home. The gray followed. Then both horses stopped. The one man posse exited the car with a nylon tie-down strap and placed it over the chestnut’s head. Leaving the TSH mobile running and in the middle of the road, the horse was led home. The gray followed. Turned out catching horses (at least catching these horses) was not terribly difficult.

In California, Jenny from PR did some research on her personal computer, made a few dozen phone calls and discovered the horses’ owners. Jenny’s conversation led to the impression that the horses might not be wanted. We offered to keep them because they were sweet and lovely. But when the teenage boy who called about them was consulted, he said, in the disaffected country drawl typical of Western teens, “No. We want them.” You read that too fast. Read it again at half speed. There, you got it. The boy and a teenage girl with a broken leg showed up a few hours later. He had trouble catching the horses. Between you and the posse, that was a bit of an ego boost for this greenhorn. Until, when the horses were eventually caught (wrangled), the teens hopped on the horses and rode them, bareback or elf fashion as Gandolf called it, into the hills.

Did you hear that? It was the sound of a heart breaking. 

TSH: Who are you?

Intern: Hi, I’m Becca Goesling, Industrial Design undergrad at University of Illinois. I am also currently befriending a small grey cat, which I think will become a critical part of my life.

TSH: Why are you studying Industrial Design?

Intern: I became interested in ID when I read a book by John Maeda (The Laws of Simplicity). It is everything I love in one job: color coding, lamps, problem solving, excessive research, sketching and Adobe Illustrator. 

TSH:Do you have an irrational fear of only designing normal objects like toilets or refrigerators or is there some untold drama
about designing everyday appliances?

Intern: I would say that fear started when the International Housewares Association Student Competition stole my soul. 

TSH: If you could hold the endurance record for swimming across the ocean or walking across Africa what would it be? 

Intern: I would definitely prefer swimming across the ocean. Being warm makes me nervous and schvitzy. 

TSH: Oh yeah, why do you want to work for Tenspeed Hero?

Intern: I hear it is like doing mental jumping jacks. And I want to hang out with Sister, the dog.

TSH: In the history of industrial design, where does the bicycle stack up?

Intern: It is pretty high up there. My professor in Italy would definitely support the bicycle as one of the greatest industrial creations.

TSH: Name three vegetables you like to eat with salt?

Intern: I mostly just eat fruit with salt (watermelon, corn, tomato).

TSH: What is the best thing about Chicago?

Intern: I really love the 15th floor of the Merchandise Mart as well as the room of chairs in the Art Institute of Chicago Museum.

TSH: Your feelings on the loss of Maurice Sendak?

Intern: It is incredibly sad, Where The Wild Things Are and the Carol stuffed animal were pretty influential on my childhood. Mom and I were talking about an interview by Sendak recently in which he talked about his last book. It isn’t a children’s book but he said it was his favorite piece he created. I think I’ll buy that this week.

Intern: Where do you usually go to buy your shoes? The grey and orange ones yesterday were great.

TSH: Addidas Store or the Barney’s winter sale! You cannot beat 70% off

If anyone ever thought there was glamour or mystery in Midwestern amateur bike racing they have never been to or raced an amateur bike race in the Midwest. Non-the-less a few of The Tenspeed Heroes and our newly-formed race team partake in these things on a weekly basis, crisscrossing the Land of Lincoln and sometimes other lands, racing bikes in closed-off small streets, and marshaled, “center lined” farm roads. In our travelogue there is no shortage of sketchy gas stations, trucker showers, cheap hotels and if you’re lucky a local “expresso” stand (we love you more than you know La Colombe!).

But since Midwestern culture is the stuff nobody will write books about we won’t start here. What we can do is bring you one particularly standout day for the Tenspeed Hero / J.P. Graziano Racing team. On this day we barely made it to our race in time, suffered a good deal, pulled a podium spot, and watched one of only a few of us racing Heroes go down hard and lie on the pavement consoled by and comparing “euro teeth” with a Super Hero 40+ EMT/Cat 3 crusher (an extraordinary gentlemen -interview to follow). We spent the rest of the day in the ER waiting for x-rays, talking about Catlike helmets and watching Nascar. As if the day could not be bled out with x-rays and Nascar we were forced to drive home through a mother of a Midwestern storm cell aptly titled through post-traumatic race/crash/car banter, “The Belly of the Beast.” Knowing the risks we proceeded, bikes on roof, until our Subaru was rocked so violently by nothing less than a real fucking tornado we were forced to stop under a bridge, taking refuge with a bald man in Tapout gear (Tapout, we determined, is to the Ultimate Fighting Championship what Rapha is to cycling- it’s what they wear). As we watched the storm pass on our iphones we pressed on, spoke more of the belly of the beast, our day’s absurd highs and lows and slept well, slightly bruised but satisfied and not entirely sure why.

Our new team is co-sponsored by us and our favorite Italian wholesale grocer, J.P. Graziano along with La Colombe Torrefaction, Get a Grip Cycles, and Method Bicycle. Stay tuned for more less-conventional race reports and news about why we love this new project and everyone supporting it.

We apologize on the delay of our club jersey. It is coming we promise. We had just a bit of back and forth with Nalini so we asked for a quick proof to make sure everything from the colors, to the logo placement was perfect. On this day, Tuesday, May 7, Luke Hero and new employee, Becca “Hero” Goesling went on the roof to catch a few of the colors in the bright Chicago sun. We cannot wait to start shipping these! As you can imagine we wanted the first jersey for Tenspeed Hero to be near perfection. We have given Nalini the go ahead on the final proof so we should see some jerseys come to Chicago at the end of May. If you are on the reservation list we will contact you to make sure you are still on board. As always thanks for supporting the Tenspeed Hero Project!

This City Wind Jacket is worn by artist Stephen Eichhorn. His work can be seen here and of course here and if you need to see more, here. The T-Shirt he is wearing is by the zinesters known as Hamburger Eyeland. Stephen is a good friend to the Heroes and a small editon of hand-cut artist books about last year’s Tour de France will be forthcoming. For his portrait we placed him in front of a Mel Bochner painting at Hero Headquarters. When we took this photograph we did not realize the synchronicity of color (Sneakers, Dewalt Drill, officeMax boxes, Drafting Triangle). In a sparsely worded critique of all the made things depicted in said photograph, we offer this, we are constantly amazed on how many ways one can skin a cat.