Edvald Boasson Hagen Wins Stage Seventeen of the 2011 TDF

Stage 17-179 km
Gap to Pinerolo

With hacking scandals looming and the subsequent closing of your shameless British tabloid it must be painful to watch as your multi-billion dollar media empire threatens to fall apart. –Those are the things we worry about here at Hero Headquarters. Tenspeed Hero however, is not the only media empire there is to worry about; In the wake of other hacking scandals looming and subsequent closings of shameless British tabloids, and the further subsequent dissolution of a bid to take over the 60 percent of British Sky Broadcasting he does not already own, Rupert Murdoch really must be kicking himself now. How could he know 24-year-old cycling phenom Edvald Boasson Hagen was going to be such a dominating force on Team Sky?

Just one day after his hard-fought loss to a Norwegian compatriot, the stock of Sky is soaring as Edvald “Eddy Boss” Boasson Hagen took his second stage win in the Tour de France. In a formula seen often in this year’s tour, the young Boss broke free from several strong riders of a chase group on the final climb of the day. After a tricky downhill into the Italian town of Pinerolo, Boasoan Hagen soloed to a heroic victory. The Heroes have made their decision: Boason Hagen will be our second favorite six-foot-tall 170lb blond-haired Norwegian cyclist.

Meanwhile, back in France (and Italy) Luke and Jon Hero managed to hack Alberto Contador’s voicemail (if you didn’t think Heroes had these skills you were wrong!). Apart from the lawyers they heard one stern message from Bjarne Riis: “Alberto, forget about all of this other business. I did. You must attack, attack, and attack again!” He did, even on the downhills, and even though our devotion to this man is questionable, Heroes were subsequently impressed. He did not however get very far, but as we say in the media business, “keep trying son….you could be worth seven billion dollars some day.”